Speaking with a fellow divorce professional recently, she shared something that resinated profoundly with me, she tells clients, “When you are writing your divorce story, your kids are writing theirs”. This gave me chills, so often we are overwhelmed with the negotiation, the heart ache, the finances and the feelings of failure, betrayal and a sense of despair. Your kids are going through many of the same emotions. This is why I find Collaborative Divorce so appealing, the end result is still a divorce but the process and how your family arrived there is completely different.
Most collaborative professionals do not believe that divorce belongs in a court room, because this is a family matter, not contract law. Yes, you entered into a contract when you were married but it certainly did not feel like a business deal. When you were choosing your dress, the venue, the menu, the band, invitations, etc, it was much like planning a party. Dissolving the marriage, is nothing that resembles a party. It is a terrible experience in the best of circumstances, but Collaborative professionals believe that it shouldn’t ever be a trial.
Collaborative professionals believe that the best needs of the family can be served through a process that takes everyones needs into consideration, including the children. Once you have children you are always a family, you no longer look or operate in the same way but you are always Mom & Dad, Dad & Dad or Mom & Mom. A divorce never changes the fact that you are the parents to your children.
The process of Collaborative is outlined here http://jamieminster.com/collaborative-divorce/ if you would like to explore this option or know more please reach out to me.